The Risk of Caring

This week, I was struck by Noddings' statement regarding the risk of caring. She states:

"There exists in all caring situations the risk that the one-caring will be overwhelmed by the responsibilities and duties of the task and that, as a result of being burdened, he or she will cease to care for the other and become instead the object of "caring." (p12)

Also, related to the risk of caring, she write about undergoing conflict:

"...he is finding it difficult to handle the commitments he has already made. He is in conflict over how he should spend himself..." (p13)

These statements struck me on a few levels. Specifically related to Noddings' example in the book about Mr. Smith and his elderly mother, I thought of my grandmother who lived in an elderly-care home in Singapore during the last three years of her life. I rarely visited her--perhaps once every three to four weeks, often doing so at the behest of my mother who unlike me, visited her regularly. I always had a reason for not being able to visit--it often had to do with being busy at work or being too tired from work and life. At the same time, I knew that being in the home and observing the frailty of life made me feel uncomfortable and sad. I didn't quite know how to cope with watching my once strong and full-of-life grandmother, now weak and bedridden, full of anxieties and telling us she wanted to die.

Did I allow the commitments in my life and the burden of care to risk the care that I could provide for my grandmother? In her wake of her death in Singapore two years ago, which I learned about while in Boston, I found it hard to shake the sense of guilt and shame for not having "cared more". I found it hard to reconcile the conflicting voices in my head--my heart knowing that I love her dearly, but my actions of not spending more time with her, and the guilt that I could no longer do anything about it.

Noddings' brief explanation of the risk of caring helps bring closure to some of the feelings I felt, and to a large degree, still feel. I better understand the choices I made and in so doing, perhaps will be more aware of my feelings, thoughts, and actions in situations of care. On pages 13-14 she states, "The point lies in trying to discern the kinds of things I must think about when I am in a conflict of caring.." and that caring involves a "displacement of interest" from one's own perspective to taking on that of the other.

Related to this topic on the risk of caring, I also considered the professionals in early care who may feel stretched by various demands in their role, causing them to feel burnt out and overwhelmed. Do these demands hinder the care that they provide to children and families? How can the we (as teacher educators and researchers) partner with them to ensure that they maintain a clear perspective and not be burdened by care?